Lessons from a Little One

Last week Marcia and I visited our first grandchild and his parents. Joshua Conrad DeRuiter is about a month old and doing very well.

Joshua Conrad DeRuiter

Of course it was wonderful meeting him, taking care of him and being with his parents, Jon and Laura in West Olive, Michigan. We convinced them to leave a couple of times so we could have grandparent time with just him (they thought we were being altruistic). Most of the time we had with him was marvelous and amazing.

And Then Again...

Little ones come to young parents for a reason, I think. They aren't all coos and wonder. Sometimes they have needs, or wants, or discomforts, or hurts, or combinations of the above and you're not sure what to do. Infants aren't very good at taking other people's needs into consideration either; they're high maintenance creatures.

Jon and I both reflected on this, as pastors/preachers (my son Jon is also an ordained minister in the CRC). The little guy sometimes knows he needs something, but he's not even sure what it is he needs, or what will take care of that need. In fact, sometimes he gets so upset that he will reject the thing will actually take care of the need (feeding or sleep) - though with some insistence he'll eventually calm down enough to give it a try.

Typical.

How often do we do the same?

Joshua is older and more mature in relation to his father and grandfather--by percentage--than we are in relation to the Everlasting God. Think about it. How old is God compared to us? How much more does He know, by experience alone! Yet we think we know our needs and how to meet them, or just as arrogantly: how God should meet them. And when God gives us what we actually do need, how often do we slap it out of His loving hand as irrelevant?

I don't mean that we should accept everything that comes our way. No! Some things come to us from our and God's enemies: the world, the flesh and the devil. If it comes to steal, kill or destroy, it comes from the thief (John 10:10) and we should resist it with all we have (even though God can turn every one of those attacks to our advantage - Rom. 8:28).

However, sometimes an opportunity comes our way, or a friend, or a spiritual gift, or something else that seems to come unexpectedly and in a season when we're asking God to help us through some struggle. At first glance we might pass over what comes because it doesn't seem relevant to what God is doing, or what we want and are asking Him to do. Yet, it comes as God's gift to meet the actual need of our heart.

I don't know about you, but sometimes, just like little Joshua, I'm not sure what I need. I think about it and decide what I need is a new job, or a certain spiritual gift, or someone to co-write songs with. What He gives doesn't seem (at first) to fit: I get changed, He changes my thinking and experience with spiritual gifts and He builds a worship band that takes what I write to a whole other level.

I know. I know. We can get good things or opportunities for them, that are actually distractions from God's actual calling on us (in fact, they come all the time). It sometimes takes careful discernment (usually in the context of community) to know what is from God and what isn't. On the other hand, when skepticism (or unexamined optimism) begins to substitute for discernment, we get into trouble: we reject a genuine gift from God, or accept what God isn't giving in exchange for what He has given, or is giving.

Returning to Trust

At some point, even when we know we cannot be 100% certain about how well we discern, we have to trust our Father in heaven. He knows our imperfections; He knows we sometimes miss it; He knows us and yet He gives knowing what we need. He knows what we need before we even ask (Matthew 6:8). He knows our hearts and the actual needs of our hearts, even if we, like little Joshua, don't know how to express those needs, or even get it wrong! Joshua has no word for pain or tummy, so if he has gas pains he just cries (very loudly!). We may not know that the need of our heart is for intimacy with Him, and so we cry out for recognition by our peers. We may not know that the need of our heart is to be genuinely loved in the community of God's people, and so we cry out for the sort of companionship (or whatever) that can never satisfy.

At some point, we need to cry out in faith, and then wait in faith for God's response. When we need to cry out, we need to cry out trusting that a loving, responsive and all-powerful Father is listening. A "cry-baby" might cry out to manipulate his/her parents, and there are those who would cry out to God that way. That's dumb. You can't put God on a guilt trip; He never goes down that road. But we don't need to manipulate an all-powerful Father Who is both loving and responsive. He will meet the need of our heart, even if we don't know what it is, or if we get it wrong. That's what God is like.

Unlike human parents (and grandparents), God doesn't need to guess and use trial and error to figure out how to meet our needs. He knows our hearts. He knows them better than we do. And He knows how to meet those needs.

Do you believe that?

Changing the Way We Think

I want to do some reflecting on this passage (and a few others) today:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 - NIV)  

Here's the same passage in the New Living Translation:

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  

The Power of our Cultural Worlds

Each of us live in a world. I don't mean merely on a planet, but in a world of thoughts, ideas, assumptions, customs and perspectives. We do certain things the way we do them, because "everyone knows" that's how they're supposed to be done. For example, in the United States, when we meet someone it is customary to shake hands. In parts of Asia, in meeting someone it is customary to bow. In parts of Europe and Latin America in meeting someone it is customary to kiss the cheek (or the "air" next to the cheek). In all of these worlds, "everyone knows" the most polite way to meet someone.

The same is true of how we understand the world works. In parts of India one is born into a caste, and that determines the limits and opportunities of one's entire life. One is not expected, and in some places not allowed, to break out of one's caste. In the U.S. we celebrate individuals who rise from poverty to success in business, medicine, or politics and see the circumstances of one's birth as challenges to overcome, not the assignments of fate.

Further, nearly everyone who grows up into their world, believes their world's ways of doing things are the "right" ways--the best ways. I could go on, and talk about how we understand punctuality, marriage and family, economics, individuality and family/cultural duty, and more, but I hope you get the point. Sociologists call this system of values and behaviors "culture." It is impossible to grow up in this world and not learn a culture. We do this as naturally as we learn the language we consider our mother tongue.

Those who have lived in more than one culture understand this in ways that those who haven't cannot. Am I right?

Adopting Heaven's Culture

I was first exposed to the concept of a culture of Heaven at a conference at Bethel church in Redding, California. I don't know why I'd never thought of it this way before. Without going into the content of that conference, I'd like to talk a bit about how that concept intersects with our verse above.

The "pattern of this world" (NIV) or the "behavior and customs of this world" (NLT) is a direct reference to what we would call "culture." While we could (and must!) say that each culture contains within it elements of the culture of Heaven, we cannot say that any culture fully expresses the culture of heaven. In fact, as we speak of individuals being fallen image-bearers of God, so we must speak of cultures as fallen as well.

To adopt Heaven's culture, we must change the way we think. In fact, we must change the very framework within which we think. We need to change our paradigms of thought. As our text above puts it we must be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds (NIV). This does not mean to think better so much as to think differently.

In Western culture one of the ways we are captive to our culture is the pervasive "scientific" and "naturalistic" mind-set that leaves no room for God, a spiritual realm, or the miraculous. Everything must have a "scientific" explanation (meaning: an explanation that doesn't need God or spiritual beings to work). The Bible does not have that mindset. Neither does Heaven. (I wrote about some of this before here.)

The culture of Heaven is a set of values and behaviors that actually does shape reality (and not merely our perception of it)! But what are they and how do we find out?

Probably the best way to begin to understand the culture of Heaven is to look at Jesus. In the gospel of John Jesus says “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does" (Jn 5:19). At least in terms of behaviors, we can learn something of the culture of Heaven by looking at Jesus. We can also learn something of the values of Heaven by interpreting why and how He did the things He did. As we do, we see in Scripture that a huge motivating factor for in the life of Christ is love. In fact, love explains the entire enterprise (John 3:16). 

However, I don't think we can get there from here without some serious help! We cannot transform our own minds. We don't have the power, nor the "raw materials" to do it. 

David, when confronted by his sin with Bathsheba composed Psalm 51, in which he writes Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me (Psalm 51:10). Just a little later he adds: grant me a willing spirit to sustain me (Psalm 51:12b). David realized that he didn't just need to try harder, he needed to be changed from within. He needed more than an adjustment, or a remodeling, he needed a remake. 

Paul has a similar lament in Romans 7 (verses 7,ff). His way out of the dilemma is not to redouble his efforts and "do better next time" (how many of us have tried that!). The solution for him is the Holy Spirit: The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. (Romans 8:6). Literally that verse says (my translation from the Greek text): The mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. I wouldn't argue about control or governance here, but I would point out that the difference is not merely control, but of substance. The mind of flesh doesn't need a mere adjustment; it doesn't need to be run better; it needs to be changed into something that it is not. It needs to become the mind of the Spirit, sometimes called the mind of Christ (1Cor. 2:16).

Our western world tells us that with hard work we can become whatever we want. Without thinking, we assume that if we have not become spiritual enough, or moral enough, or do not exhibit the fruit of the Spirit enough, that the solution is to try harder. But no matter how hard we pull on our bootstraps, we cannot lift ourselves out of the mud! We need help! In fact we need a transformation. Our mind needs to be remade in order to align it with the culture of Heaven.

So What Do We Do?

If we can't do it and the Spirit must, what must we do so that the Spirit will do what only He can do? 

The answer to that, I'm convinced is simple, but not easy. We must submit our minds to the Spirit, and we must pray, asking the Spirit to transform our minds. These are really not two separate things, but two aspects of one thing. Feel free to reverse the order, if it helps.

Submitting our minds to the Spirit includes laying down all of our assumptions and letting Him speak Truth into us. When Jesus said You will know the truth and the truth will set you free (John 8:32), He was talking about holding to (literally remaining/continuing in) His his message (see Jn 8:31). By "truth" here John doesn't mean simply that which is not false, but that which conforms to the culture of Heaven--that which is most truly true. In contrast to half-truths, or partial truths, or even things that are mostly true, that which is fully true. Jesus described that truth this way "I am telling you what I have seen in the Father's presence" (John 8:38a)

We need the Truth of Heaven, not only because it can fill our minds, but because it transforms our minds, it changes them. The Truth of Heaven is not only the content of that Truth , but the shape of it (its paradigms) as well. Yet we can only appropriate that truth and hold onto it as true as empowered by the Spirit to do so. Only the Holy Spirit can transform our minds so that we can begin to think the way Heaven thinks.

Sometimes we try to behave our way into the Kingdom (change from the outside, in). But what we hear the Scriptures saying is that we can't do it that way. We need our hearts and minds changed (change from the inside, out). The changed heart will do the things Jesus asks because the changed heart is designed to do so--it prefers to obey: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires (Romans 8:5).

Pray with me:

Create in me a pure heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Give me a willing spirit to sustain me. 

I submit my mind, my heart, my will, my thoughts and the very way I think to You. Holy Spirit lead me in the way of Truth. I choose to let go of the pattern of my world, with it's behaviors and customs and hold on instead to the culture of Heaven. Renew me by the transformation of my mind. Give me the mind of Christ. Conform me to the image of your Son.

 I pray this believing that You desire to answer this prayer even more than I desire that You do. I pray this believing as You answer this prayer, it will bring glory to the Name of Jesus.