Charismatics (and by that I mean all who practice using charismatic gifts and "power ministry") often talk about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. What is it? Is it Biblical? Does it still happen today? Many in the Reformed tradition deny that there is such an experience for believers today, usually considering it a one time event on that very first Pentecost Sunday.
Limitations
Let me tell you what I'm not going to do first: I'm not going to lay out every way that this idea is discussed among charismatics. There are just too many variations to account for them all. Neither am I going to lay down some definitive answer to that question that everyone will like or agree with. I'm going to give my answer to that question, as one who still wrestles with it, but has come to some tentative conclusions. As I answer that question, I answer from the perspective of growing up in the Reformed tradition, and who has had an experience many within charismatic circles would call a baptism in the Holy Spirit.My Testimony of a Powerful and Sudden Experience of the Holy Spirit
I'm going to begin in a more charismatic style, by talking about my experience first, and then theologizing about it. (We in the Reformed tradition, typically theologize first.)
In 2004 I was struggling with my calling to ministry, my relationship with God, and with clinical depression. It wasn't pretty. The root of the issue (looking back) was spiritual. I knew I needed more from God than what I had. I wasn't sure what I needed, but being theologically careful, busy with ministry, and trying to keep up with spiritual disciplines was not enough.
My wife, Marcia, in visiting some friends came home with a book called The River is Here that talked about how the author was struggling with her call to ministry, relationship with God, etc., and found what she was looking for at the revival breaking out at Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship (TACF, now called Catch the Fire).
I wasn't impressed. I didn't know anything about TACF except that they had something about laughing in the Spirit and they got kicked out of the Vineyard. I dismissed it as irrelevant. I didn't even read the book.
But she kept insisting, reading me quotes from the book. Finally, reminiscent of the parable of the persistent widow, I gave in and we scheduled a visit to Toronto in January of 2004 for the Pastors and leaders conference.
Without going into all the details of what and how, I'll jump to the part where my life got changed. It was day 4 or 5 of the conference, we didn't have what we wanted, but were convinced that there was something real and available to us that we wanted and needed. Later that day there was an opportunity to be prayed for by John and Carol Arnott. Yes, it was one of those things where you line up and they walk by and put a hand on your forehead. I'd been in many of those lines the last few days, and didn't have what I knew I wanted and needed. This time, however, something powerful happened. (Please don't understand me to say that what happened to me, happened because it was John Arnott. God used him for me at that time. Period.)
It's hard to describe what happened when John put his hand on my forehead that time. I barely remember his touch. I do remember laying on the floor and feeling something wonderful and powerful flowing through and surrounding all of my being (body, soul and spirit). I have no idea how long I lay there. I don't know if I could have gotten up, but I knew I didn't want to. I wanted it to go on and on and on.
When I finally did get up, I was happy for the first time in months (years?). I didn't understand what had happened but I knew it was God. As I tried to walk, I felt like I had just spent a bit too much time in a hot tub. I felt good, but my muscles seemed sluggish and my mind just a bit overwhelmed. Some might have said I was 'drunk' in the Spirit (cf. Eph.5:18). I had no term for it, nor did I care then, nor now, about what to call it.
Since then, my life and my ministry have taken a turn. Something was released in me and from me, and my spiritual life soared. My depression lifted. All of life seemed to be brighter and more hopeful. I stopped being stoical, and began to be optimistic.
Was That Experience a Baptism in the Holy Spirit?
Some charismatics would say "Of course!" Others would say, "Well, what happened afterwards, shows that it was." Some Pentecostals would ask "But, did you speak in tongues?" Some in the Reformed tradition might just say, "Isn't that just psychological manipulation?" Some of my friends said "Let's just see if it lasts. Then we'll know, if it's real or not."
Here's my answer to the question "Was my experience a Baptism in the Holy Spirit:" I'm not sure. Before you say "cop out" let me explain.
For many, the phrase "Baptism in the Holy Spirit" is a technical term meant to describe a specific sort of event. There are many ways of describing the nature of that event. So many, in fact, that it's hard for me to say to what degree my experience fits or doesn't fit with those definitions.
As a Reformed believer, my instinct is to look to Scripture. The phrase being baptized in (or by) the Holy Spirit does occur in Acts 1:8, but it doesn't occur later. From Acts 1:8 we could easily conclude many things. PRMI, following R.A. Torry, suggest that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is an initiation into power ministry. It's a good way of looking at the data. Pentecostals have traditionally said that the evidence of the baptism of the Spirit is speaking in tongues, which happened on Pentecost Sunday, but also the other times when the Spirit fell on people throughout Acts. And there are probably other ways of dealing with the Biblical texts.
But I'm not sure it's fair to the Bible to make "Baptism in the Spirit" a technical term. First, the term is not used with any sort of frequency that can help us understand it that way. Second, the more frequent term is usually "filled with the Spirit" (Acts 2:4; 5:8), or simply "received the Spirit" (Acts 8:17; 19:2), or "the Spirit came upon" (Acts 10:44; 19:6). Outside of Acts we don't find the concept of being baptized with or in or by the Holy Spirit (except 1Cor. 12:13, where it seems to simply refer to Christian water baptism).
Here's my conclusion: (using the most common Biblical way of speaking) I was filled with the Holy Spirit in a way I had never been filled before. The result was a shift in my personal spiritual life, and in my ministry. There is a definite before and after. If "baptism in the Holy Spirit" is your term for that, I'm comfortable with that. If not, that's fine too. Call it what you want. Just don't deny the reality, nor the blessing of what happened, nor deny that it was God Who did it.
My next blog post will discuss the so-called "Second Blessing." What does that really mean? Is it valid, or must we always reject it? Are we creating a spiritual 'elite' in this way?
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is wonderful. But what would you say to a guy like me, who has been craving such an experience for the last 10 years with no resulting experience? I have felt such spiritual depression at times. Not all the time. But sometimes was not feeling God's love or presence and so craving an experience like that. The experience didn't come and I've kept moving forward in faith. But I still always have that desire for more.
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