Trees

There are (at least) two ways people are like trees. The first way is pretty simple: 

Trees are always growing, unless they're dying. 

[The person whose delight is in God's ways, and who is constantly thinking about His ways] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither--whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:3)

People are always growing, unless they're dying. Obviously, I'm not talking about getting taller or growing around the middle (although we could have some fun with that, I suppose). I mean that we keep growing as people, as believers, as friends, as a married couple, as parents, and in every other part of who we are.

As I was thinking about that this morning, I also thought about Bonsai trees. Bonsai trees can be alive but are kept small by constant and careful pruning. Their growth is continually being cut off. Abuse does this to people: it keeps cutting them down, cutting them off, refusing to let them flourish. When it's spiritual abuse it keeps us from growing in our relationship with God, because the spiritual abuser's primary goal is to have people around that make them look good. Bonsai trees are ornamental. They serve no other purpose than to display the skill of the cultivator.

For people to grow we need the stability of a place to be planted and the water of the Holy Spirit in constant supply. We also need to be free to grow, in the ways trees grow.

We have a lot of trees around our house: firs, spruce, cedar, alder, maple and a some vine maple (plus a few other varieties). No two trees look the same. Some have similarities; alder all look like alder, etc.. But not a single tree is perfectly symmetrical, free of scars, or has branches that all grow straight and true. Every tree grows and finds its way as it grows. Someone once said, "No tree is perfect, but every tree is beautiful."

People are like that too. Their lives have had some strange twists and turns, they grow more on one side than another. Some have been hit by storms that missed others and though bent, still turn toward the light. Every person (like ever tree) is unique and has its own strengths, it's own vulnerabilities, it's own story, it's own unique sort of beauty.

The second way people are like trees is this:

At least half of the tree can't be seen.

Honor one another above yourselves. (from Romans 12:10)

If you know anything about trees, you know they have roots. Some trees have shallower roots, some trees push their roots deep into the ground. The kind of soil has everything to do with the root system. Essentially the tree is held up, supported and largely nourished by its roots - something we can't directly observe (at least those of us who don't have the specialized training and equipment of a botanist).

When you meet someone, even someone you think you know well, remember that there is more to this person than meets the eye. The "above ground" part may look like a person is supposed to look, or that part may look to be not quite right somehow. Yet what we have to remember about that person is that their root system may be wrapped around jagged rocks, dry or hard-packed soil, and tangled up with other roots that may be pulling on them from below in ways that are not healthy. Too often families that look good in their "Sunday best" behavior are hiding ugly secrets at home, and people who appear confident and at ease, are in inner turmoil about something in their past.

People, like trees, are really good at surviving wherever they're planted and no matter what has assaulted them. Some of them are good at hiding their "challenges," others not so much. Some of them you or I may have hurt, completely unaware of how our words, or actions (or neglect of either), have done some of the hurting.

One really rotten thing about people is that we tend to judge the actions of others, based on what sort of thing would make us do something like that. That is, we judge others based on our root system. Guessing others motives is actually a violent sport, that violates one of the ten commandments--the one about not giving false testimony (Exodus 20:16). The falseness is in implying, assuming motives that are hidden from all of us who can't read minds. One could also say that this violates the command against murder, since this is a form of character assassination.

To honor one another above ourselves means that we get in the habit of assuming the best in people, assuming that God is already at work in them. It means always giving the benefit of the doubt, when trying to understand what a person has done and why. Sometimes people are mean and bitter because they've been beaten up so many times that it's become their best defense against being beaten up again. Sometimes people volunteer because they want someone - anyone - to like them. Sometimes people ignore you because they don't know how to handle the pain you're going through, and don't want to hurt you by saying something they shouldn't.

(If someone has already violated our trust, through gossip or other abuse, we will find this more difficult, and I would not suggest that giving someone the benefit of the doubt means that we put ourselves back into a place of vulnerability where trust is still broken. That's actually violating ourselves and poor self-stewardship. To say much more would require a whole other blog entry.)

The thing is, you and I really can't see into someone's heart. We don't know the burdens they carry, the sharp rocks that cut into their roots. We don't know their desperation for friendship, for being known, for connection; the hard, dry soil their roots have found themselves in, or the tangle of other roots around theirs that are strangling theirs. We don't know where and how the Spirit is working in them. We have to consider that He is working on other areas of their life than the one(s) we would be working on, if we were the Holy Spirit. ;-)

Trees and people need to be planted by a stream, where the soil is constantly being fed with water, which symbolizes the Holy Spirit. God's Spirit works in the "underground" part of us, not just the visible part. Let's just assume that when we meet one of God's people, that the Spirit is at work in them and honor both what God is doing in them and that He is doing something.

Remember, it's not our job to prune them, but help them find the Water. If there is pruning to be done, it's the Father that's supposed to do it, not a fellow tree (cf. John 15:1-2).